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Software that fixes all,‭ ‬creative moments and booming bombs

Buy the Broom-Hilda software fixer upper‭ – ‬only‭ ‬$19.95

You know the problems,‭ ‬right‭?  ‬Your computer is broken.‭  ‬You installed the latest open source software.

Then something goes boom in the night.‭  ‬It’s not a nuclear terrorist bomb.‭  ‬It’s not your stomach belching.‭  ‬It’s not Superman after finishing three gallons of garlic chili.

What is it‭?

  1. Your PHP/MySQL mail list installation doesn’t work.‭
  2. Or someone installed a new WordPress plug-in and the RSS feed doesn’t
  3. Or a Drupal update doesn’t works out of the box.

That’s where the Broom-Hilda software fixer upper saves the day.‭  ‬It works like magic.

Then you wake up.‭  ‬There’s no fixer upper.‭  ‬The software is still broken.‭  ‬But somewhere there’s a fix.
It’s not from the Wizard of Ox.‭  ‬It’s from the average coder who encountered the problem and found a fix.‭

But there is a Google search option.‭  ‬You must supply the right keywords.‭  ‬Let’s see now:

  1. For the mail list issue,‭ ‬it was caused by a missing table.‭  ‬The fix‭?  ‬Just create the missing table‭ (‬it doesn’t matter it’s empty‭)‬.
  2. For the RSS feed,‭ ‬a bad section of code wasn’t checking for empty RSS feeds.‭  ‬The fix‭?  ‬Just test for an empty RSS feed‭ – ‬it’s one line of code to fix.
  3. For Drupal,‭ ‬just find a hosting site with doc on how to update Drupal.

Let’s pause for a creative moment

There in lies the rub.‭  ‬How come Shakespeare is coming into my head‭?  ‬I remember when I was taking Spanish.‭  ‬The last language was French‭ – ‬nearly‭ ‬20‭ ‬years ago.‭  ‬Yet when we practiced in class,‭ ‬guess what‭?

That’s right‭!  ‬I started interjecting French words and accents,‭ ‬within a Spanish class.‭  ‬And as I glance leftward,‭ ‬the TV is blaring.‭  ‬It’s an old Bruce Lee movie.

Somewhere we have creativity lying within us.‭  ‬Take today.‭  ‬I’m at a meeting with two creatives.‭  ‬One produces a radio show and is a paid comedian,‭ ‬entertaining corporate cultures.‭  ‬His wife is an actress and writer.‭

How do you inspire them to produce a YouTube video and come up with creative ideas‭?  ‬I show them three examples of creative videos:

  1. First we watch a music video about United breaking guitars at‭ ‬http://is.gd/7nX9B.‭
  2. Second we watch a Mission Impossible video with a pigeon at‭ ‬http://is.gd/7Ev8K.
  3. Finally we watch the Muppets singing a Bohemian Rhapsody at‭ ‬http://is.gd/7Evgz.‭

Then the ideas started to flow.‭  ‬Grab a paper and write down the brainstorming session.‭

Does this even make sense‭?

Later that evening,‭ ‬I’m watching the TV show Human Target.‭  ‬It’s an adventurer from D.C.‭ ‬Comics.‭  ‬Tonight a bomb’s ready to go off.‭  ‬The person must cut one of two wires.‭  ‬Should they cut the red or blue wire‭?

Sound familiar‭?  ‬It should be‭!  ‬It’s been a staple plot device for the past‭ ‬20‭ ‬years.‭  ‬Legal Weapon‭?  ‬MacGyver‭?

Only one problem here.‭  ‬Does cutting a single wire really effect a bomb going off‭?  ‬Now two heroes go into a phone booth.‭  ‬One remarks,‭ “‬This looks like a job for the Myth Busters.‭”

Joomla, Woodpress and Drupal

Viral Marketing

And now for something completely different:  From the famous words of Monty Python – it’s time for Pigeon Impossible (YouTube) http://bit.ly/5×2wkx.

So someone ask me this – in a Linkedin forum: What’s this got to do with viral marketing? What’s this guy’s trilogy of United Airlines songs at http://is.gd/7nX9B, have to do with it?

Lucas Martell  wants to promote his animation, just as Dave Carroll wishes to promote his songwriting and singing.

My brush with Joomla and WordPress

It’s a cool week folks.  I finished a direct response copy deck for a client, selling a product devoted to golf and education.  His product’s not that expensive – perhaps around $20.

Where to next?  Send it to the graphic designer and have here work on layout and graphics.

Let’s see now.  We have two categories – one is for golf and one for education.  Time to put on my software engineering hat.  Take off my writer’s cap for a moment.

Ever visit the site Copy Blogger?  They have this cool WordPress theme called Thesis.  It was recommended by a software company owner and Internet Marketer from Romania.  It’s cool, folks.  Very flexible.  I understand it has build in SEO – just as good as the All-in-one-SEO WordPress plug-in.

Now I can use this hosting company, where you can install scripts by.  It’s a commercial script library.  It does things like create the database and configuration details.

Now I set up the database backup scripts and run them each night.

Off I go to research the best WordPress plug-ins for spam control, security and speed.  Then it’s time to create a custom  header and use a plug-in called Thesis Open Hook.  Really cool!

WordPress and Thesis are a dynamite combo.  Yet this Joomla is cool for our educational component sub-domain.

Articles and Books

  1. A good article comparing the merits of Joomla vs WordPress is found at http://is.gd/7f8MB and http://is.gd/7fgvQ.  I think Joomla  should be easy to pick up, if you are familiar with other content management systems (i.e. WordPress).
  2. There’s a book you can probably get for free at your local public library (as I did today).  It’s called Joomla for dummies by Steven Holzner, PhD.  You can find it also on http://www.amazon.com.

Yet I believe that WordPress with the Thesis theme can be just as flexible.  As far as security goes, there’s a group currently developing Maximum Security for WordPress.  I look forward to it coming out of beta.  I feel that with my former software engineering background, it shouldn’t be that difficult.  And putting it on a sub-domain devoted to “education” seemed to make sense.

As far as putting blog articles together, WordPress is the way to go.  For the record, I’m not finding Joomla that hard to work with.

There were some stats in a article a couple weeks ago.  As far as content management systems go, WordPress and Joomla were the most popular downloads.  This is good for a few reasons:

  1. There’s a lot of web documentation on how to do do things or solve problems.
  2. There’s a lot of development on software editions available (i.e. plug-ins).
  3. A article on the best plug-ins for Joomla, WordPress and Drupal is found at http://bit.ly/bpZHWt
  4. A good comparison grid is found at http://is.gd/7ky2V.
  5. Have You Tried Google Gears (free)? http://bit.ly/12UfSd?

Did I mention I gotten Drupal installed and I’m playing with it?  There’s a book called Drupal for Dummies by Lynn Beighley I’ll be reading, in the near future.  A good approach to update Drupal is found at http://is.gd/7lZx1.

Guess Blogging

I’m a guest blogger for this copywriter, but she went to Phoenix for some R & R.  I talk about cool things – how to learn the craft without spending huge amounts of cash.

Or I talk about my journey to becoming a famous author wannabee.  Spending years in writers groups and taking creative writing classes at COD.  I’ll provide a link, when she hosts the guest post.

SEO, Digital Media and Savvy Headline Questions

Here’s some questions I answered on social media and via email this week:

Will Digit Media replace everything?

This is interesting. Last week I was talking to Bonnie, who runs the Harper Community College, small business development center. She also markets her own coaching program and information products. In addition, she studies under a couple well known coaches. So here are some things I remember (from Bonnie and others)

1. The interesting thing she mentioned was that she plans on doing some video blog posts. She also has the most success with teleseminars and personal appearances, in drawing the most traffic.

2. Hubspot is a company devoted to social media and viral marketing (I got certified by them). They say that the blog is the hub of social media. But they also do several short videos on http://blip.tv

3. When I was hanging around Ben Hart’s membership site (direct response copywriter/marketer turned Internet Marketer), he had an interesting audio article. It was increasing website traffic via a $600 dollar video.

Digital is probably the closest to meeting someone in person. And even if you don’t rely 100% on video/audio marketing, it should be included in the mix.

And technology get’s more clever each day. Look at the little videos taking place in pop-up bubbles. Wiki talks a bit about pop-up videos, and you sometimes find them in Twitter as Bubble Tweets.

Maybe one day we wil have three dimensional holograms pop into our living room. They will delivery a message, like we see in Science Fiction shows (i.e. – Star Trek).

We can’t ignore the digital edge. But we may not be entirely 100% digital (didn’t they once predict direct mail will diminish or disappear, with the advent of the Internet?). But shouldn’t we add it to our arsenal of marketing approaches?

Most of my clients want to rank #1 in Google.  Is this something you do?

I would be careful of companies promising to get clients to the top of the chart.  I’m certified by Web CEO, which does teach me much about SEO.  They warn us to be wary of such companies.  Many might even use what is called “black hat techniques”.

What I would look at is selecting optimizing keywords  (low competition and high volume) and embedding them into the copy.

There are many factors that determine organic rankings.  One big  factor is link juice (how many quality links point to your site).  What you don’t want is getting links by “black hat techniques” (i.e. – link farms).

I usually target B2B technology companies, but work with other venues.  Consider me a copywriter (i.e. direct response) and writer, who is familiar with technology arenas, along with Internet and viral marketing.

I’m always open to other projects and clients, and usually charge by the project.  I put together a project proposal, detailing what will be done, along with the total charge.

For now, we will keep the smart vision focus domain.  I plan on building the new site in WordPress.  Down the road, we will point Smart Vision Focus to that.  I’ll share an example shortly of Bonnie’s sight, which is build entirely in WordPress

I don’t guarantee organic rankings, but will utilize the best “white hat” methods to work toward that goal.

What do you think of headlines like, “Does Your Office Have Workplace Stress?”

Headlines comprise most of what readers first look at, according to copywriter/marketer Brian Keith Voiles. He mentions coming up with 100 different headlines for a project.

Interesting! Especially if you can utilize them for sub headings or incorporate them in other projects.

Then folks most likely look at the PS.

If you can be truthful, here’s a better adaptation of the generic stress headline:

Amazing NASA scientific breakthrough reduces workplace stress by 89.25%

What do we see here?

NASA – authority figure
Scientific breakthrough – works for me!
89.25% – precision…How much more precise can you get?

Lessons learned this week – seek a second opinion

If something doesn’t seem right – seek a second opinion.  The wipers stopped functioning on auto #2.  Off to my local mechanic.    His estimate was around $400.  It didn’t seem right.  Then I sought a second opinion.  Just re-torque the wiper arms and lube.  The cost was $20.

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Awber or Constant Contact – How About Door No 3?

But first – a couple great audio and  printed guides

  1. Free Webinar replay – “How To Make An Audio CD” http://bit.ly/83p8TW.
  2. Think you can’t embed video in Linkedin? Think again. A step-by-step guide (free) http://bit.ly/SBNa .

I think I have the answer, unless somebody voices a bold objection.  Let me recap my earlier conversation of Aweber vs Constant Contact, in a creative team I’m leading:

Aweber Vs Constant Contact is a bit trickier

  1. The website http://is.gd/647kT, http://is.gd/647sm, and http://is.gd/647zK give some perspective.
  2. The first author says, “For a full-featured, yet easy to use auto-responder and newsletter publishing system I know use and recommend iContact.”
  3. The second gives a great table comparison of both systems.
  4. The third one is interesting, in that both contain high delivery rates (99% and 97% in the table article comparison) and Statistical analysis.
  5. Aweber offers split testing, in addition.  I see why Debbie says it’s easier, as for Aweber, you need “to be familiar with some Internet technologies, such as HTML, FTP and RSS.”  I’m also weighting Matt’s higher response rate with Aweber, and whether we primarily need an autoresponder, or a newsletter system.  I still need a day or so to reflect.

So here’s my thinking.  Aweber has split testing and more advance autoresponder features.  CC is easier to use, and has more email newsletter templates (CC – 300, Aweber – 75).

Then I asked this question, since this chap lives in the Chicago area.  What would Internet and direct response marketer Ben Hart use?  This would be relevant, since he grosses over $1 million per year in sales.  He’s also been responsible for over a half billion dollars in sales.

If you put into Google “ben hart aweber constant contact”, you find one of his books called Automatic Marketing in Scribd (http://is.gd/647T1).  It’s the first Google entry.  Then search for Aweber in the document search.  It says that “the company I use for my auto-responder program is Intellicontactpro.com.” By the way – if you get time – his book is great to read (it’s free in Scribd).

Next we go to the website http://is.gd/6481I and http://is.gd/64877, we see statements like this:

  1. “So easy, even your Aunt Melba could use it!” (I don’t have an Aunt Melba, but I can test this myself – during the free trial).
  2. “RSS Feeds, Surveying, Autoresponders, and List Segmentation are included at no extra charge” (I wouldn’t want to pay extra).
  3. “Market leaders like AT&T, Vonage, Symantec, International Paper, ReMax, Centex Homes, and Viacom use iContact to build stronger relationships with their customers and prospects at a fraction of the cost of traditional marketing methods.”  (Excellent.  If you go broke, some big companies will be in trouble)
  4. “Track the performance of your email blasts at a glance with our charts and graphs that are populated in real time.”  (Good.  I don’t have to wait a day or so).
  5. “Use one of our 250 professionally designed email newsletter templates or one of your own for beautiful permission-based email marketing campaigns.” (Great!  It gets close to the number that Contact Contact uses).

It should only be $10 per month per 250 subscribers, if we do a newsletter.  It also has the autoresponder power Matt needs.  And it’s used by one of the biggest names in direct response/Internet Marketing around.

An “apples to apples” comparison of the top providers of email marketing software is found at http://bit.ly/768Kk3.  They do a great job in listing the pros and cons of each.

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10 Mill from PCH + Elmer Fudd, Charlie Daniels and Good Stats

What if you win the PCH contest?

It’s an interesting thought.  I saw these commercials…let’s see now…within 48 hours, you will know if you are worth 10 million.

Not bad – but I wouldn’t put too much credence in winning.

The spendthrifts

A while back there was an interesting series on the Learning Channel.  They did an hour special on lottery winners.  I would classify them into two groups.

One group spends the money on fruitless endeavors.  Imagine buying a series of motor vehicles – one being an old army jeep, with a machine gun up front.  Excuse me?

Kind of reminds me of the boxer Michael Tyson.  Did he blow a bunch of money?  Can’t recall all the fruitless things he purchased.

Others actually blow all the money.  Millions, mind you!

The wise ones

Then there’s the other group.  They might give money to charities…consult investment advisers… live within their means.

Take the group working at a meat packing plant.  What’s the first thing they do?  It’s to approach an investment lawyer.  Wise choice.

Or take the examples of folks who could buy expensive cars.  Yet they choose to purchase a modest car.

Let’s ask this question:

Why does someone like Mike Tyson, become tempted to purchase expensive junk?  Why do others consult investment advisers, or live a modest life style?

Remember Sam Walton?  He was the founder of Walmart.  Yet he used to drive a pick up truck, wear bluejeans, and stand in line a Walmart.

Psychic premonitions

This one refuses classification.  Some folks claim to know they would win the lottery, or possess a winning ticket.

Do they have psychic visions or hunches?  Are they scamming us?  Are they delusional?

It has me stumped.  It’s not that I’m close minded.  Nor do I dismiss everything for lack of evidence.

Remember the fictional character Sherlock Holmes?  He’s a creation of the author Arthur Conan Doyle.  Once he said something like this:

“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”

So what should we conclude, Sherlock?  Suppose we could conduct the proper truth tests – psychological profiling, psychological testing, medical testing,  lie detector tests,  hypnosis, etc.  If they all came up “negative”, then we need to conclude the person is truthful – not lying, psychotic or medically impaired .

Sherlock would then say that psychic premonitions of winning big is possible.

Interesting Statistics

I received this statistics via an email.  They are so interesting, it’s worth sharing:

  1. One out of eight couples who married in 2008 met online.
  2. 26% of U.S. workers are independent contractors; that number is expected to reach 40% within 8 years.
  3. A week’s worth of information in the New York Times exceeds the entire amount of information a person was likely to come across during a lifetime in the 18th century.
  4. China is quickly becoming the largest English-speaking country on earth, and its economy is expected to overtake that of the United States by 2018.

What’s With Geigo Commercials?

That’s the question I keep asking.  They been around over 100 years.  They have that dumb lizard (or some reasonable facsimile  – hey…I’m not a biologist…so don’t fault me on animal identification) doing commercials.

Then – surprise, surprise – along comes some new commercials, with cameos with Elmer Fudd and Charlie Daniels.  I love Charlie Daniel’s doing “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”.  It’s a feature song in the movie “Coyote Ugly”.  There’s even a parody by ”Weird Al” Yankovic, about the devil going down to Jamaica.

Poor Elmer Fudd.  He’s the straight guy, getting the shaft from Bugs Bunny.  The only one having the second most Bugs Bunny encounters is Yosemite Sam – temper, temper.  What the heck.  Elmer still gets the shaft in these Geigo commercials.

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Good, Cheap and Quick Jobs – 2 out of 3 OK?

These enjoyable tidbits come from Farmer’s Digest.  It came – of all places – from a New Thought newsletter.   It’s a sign in a local farm equipment dealer’s repair shop:

“We do three types of jobs – Cheap, Quick and Good.  You can have any two.”

  1. “A good quick job – won’t be cheap”
  2. “A good job cheap – won’t be quick”
  3. “A cheap job quick – won’t be good.”

A cheap job quick – won’t be good

Let’s review these in reverse – shall we?  One TV station’s bring in the new years.  Guess who’s ringing it in?  The Stooges!  Now Stooges are a male thing.  If you don’t believe me, then survey some females.  Ask them if they like the Stooges.  The answer is a loud and almost unanimous “No”.

Now these three blue collar workers can do a job cheap….and quick…but not good.  Maybe they might fix a car…perhaps they remove some parts.  Then they put the car back together – often in record time.  But guess what?  There’s a few parts missing.  Charge?  Cheap!  Time?  Quick!  But is the work good?  Well, is it?

Perhaps you recall Curly imitating a plumber.  A bathtub is working fine.  That is – until Curly showed up.  Did he remove a pipe?  I don’t remember.  What I remember is him standing in the bathtub.  He’s imprisoned withing a pipe cage.  On top is a trilling pipe,  spitting water all over.  Cheap…quick…but NOT good.

A good quick job – wont’ be cheap

So what elements from TV or the movies would we grab?  Let’s look at a recent movie release.  I’m the person that waits until they come to those magic boxes – for only $1.  You know…the RedBox and DVDPlay.

Have you seen  Inglourious Basterds directed by Tarantino?  Now…granted, mind you…he hasn’t scored a major hit since Pulp Fiction – but he’s darned good!  He has this elite psychopathic squad of hit men butcher the Nazis.  Tarantino – bless his soul – instills both good and bad in his characters.

How so?

Remember the vampire vs hard core hit men movie?  The bad guys save the good folks from vampires?  The innocent little girl becomes a potential vixen? Or take this Nazis movie.  The heroes become as cruel as Nazis.

It just so happens…surprise, surprise…Hitler wants to attend a movie screening.  If you look outside the theater,  what do you see?  Minimum guard reinforcements.  Not good!  Not real!

The heroes?

They get the job done.  It’s good…it’s quick…but it’s not cheap.  But it’s cheaper than prolonging the war.  They got a lucky break.  Someone in security hired the German prison staff from Hogan’s Heroes (except for the German Sherlock Holmes type).

A good job cheap – won’t be quick

Another film I rented was Paranormal Activity.  Katie’s an English study living with her boyfriend Micah (a day trader).  She believe her house’s haunted.  The boyfriend goes hi-tech.  Cameras and such.

Perhaps his equipment is cheap.  He has a PC and camera.  He does a good job.  Nice tech!  Good tech.

Only one problem.  Some things don’t fit into his technology world.  To quote Shakespeare – “There’s the rub.”   Since what he’s trying to capture “eludes” technology, he’s NOT quick.  He does a good job (technology wise).  He’s probably considerably cheaper than the professional psychic or demonologist.

But he’s not quick.  Well, is he?

And that ending – isn’t that a thought provoker?  Supernatural elements?  Demented psychopath with psychic powers?  What do you think?  If you haven’t seen the movie, a Google search brings up a Wiki article.

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Holiday Movies and Jolly Funny Commentary

But first, a plug for my favorite radio station – straight from the College of DuPage.  Go to the website at http://www.wdcb.org/ and click on “listen live streaming radio.”  You can hear different music formats like Jazz, Reggie, Blues, Celtic, Folk, Bluegrass, New Age, and “just about anything in between.

Christmas movies

Do you have any favorite movies?  Let’s look at some of my favorite classics.

A Christmas Story

You’re familiar with the little kid?  His goal in life is a Red Rider BB gun.  But everyone says, “you shoot your eye out, kid.”  I could never understand that line.  But this movie is very funny.  Let me share a couple of my favorite moments.

  1. Remember the father’s favorite lamp?  It’s a naked lady top with a one leg base – ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.
  2. My God, that’s funny.  Remember when they went to the Chinese restaurant for Christmas eve dinner?  The restaurant staff sings some Christmas or New Year’s song – they butcher it.

The kid finally got his BB gun.  I will say one thing about this kid.  He will probably be a very successful business man.  The kid’s determined…I’ll give him credit.

A Christmas Carol

Imagine teaching a 10th grade literature class.  Let’s make it more difficult.  Place the class within the tropics –  Liberia, West Africa – to be precise.  Then have them read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.  Ready for the trick question?  What is snow?

Do you see the dilemma?  No?  Explain snow to those who never seen it!

Which TV or movie version do you like?  I love the ones with George Scott and  Patrick Stewart.  If you’re lucky – if you can find them – there’s some great versions a few decades back.

All of Charles Dicken’s stuff is great.

It’s a Wonderful Life

You know what I miss?  Before Time Warner bought the movie rights, this movie was in the “public domain.”  Many different variations would play.  One would start at 6 PM on channel 2…7 PM on channel 5…7:30 PM on channel 7…blah, blah, blah.  If I miss past on one station, I could turn stations.  It’s like having fast forward and backwards in real time.

My mom’s take?  Jimmy Steward speaks like he has a mouth full of XXX.  Get the picture?

But I really love this story.  What a wonderful philosophical question it poses.  What would the world be like if you were never born?

Christmas in VOIP land – it’s briefly broken

I’ve love these combos:

  1. Grandstream Budgetone 201 phone + Google Voice + Gizmo5
  2. Ipevo Skype Solo S0-10 phone + Skype

I have set up the Grand Stream Budgetone 201, according to the directions at http://is.gd/5zisj.  For 2 months, I could call this phone from Google Voice.  For part of a day, it stopped working.

  1. I can call 1-XXX-XXX-XXXX with it and get the Gizmo5 echo number, saying I’m successfully connected to Gizmo5.
  2. I can also call other numbers from the phone, using my Gizmo5 credit.
  3. Google Voice rings the soft phone Gizmo5 version.

What happened?  Later that day, everything is working properly.  Gremlins in the Google/Gizmo5 integration tests?

YouTube Holiday Goodies

  1. All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth (YouTube) http://is.gd/5ABXs
  2. I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas (YouTube) http://is.gd/5ABS3
  3. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer by Dr. Elmo (YouTube) http://is.gd/5ABKH
  4. Little Drummer Boy …YouTube animation http://is.gd/5ABD3
  5. Porky Pig- Blue Christmas (YouTube) http://is.gd/5AC2T
  6. Joe Diffie : Leroy the Redneck Reindeer (Video) http://is.gd/5ACQz
  7. 12 Days of Christmas (YouTube…NOT what you expect) http://is.gd/5AEc3
  8. The Muppets Join Jimmy Fallon For “The 12 Days Of Christmas” (VIDEO) http://is.gd/5AEpG
  9. The Muppets: “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen (YouTube) http://bit.ly/7S1zal

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A VOIP Symphony…Support Knots…White Papers

Interesting Support Experiences

I’ll try not to beat them up too much.  I’m much kinder with folks providing free services – like Microsoft Office Live Small Business or WordPress [dot] com.  You see, my experience was with WordPress.

The Problem?  Well, it seems WordPress [dot] com didn’t like something I published.  Rather then send me an email first, they locked out my account.  It took over a dozen support tickets opened, before the root cause was determined.

You see, they didn’t like me publishing a link to XXX.  XXX offers a free and comprehensive course on Internet Marketing.  But they also sell products during the training.  WordPress sees this as an affiliate program.  Now I’m all too happy to coordinate – especially with folks providing a free service.

Here’s my concerns: Why not just send me an email first, explaining the actual problem?  Then if I didn’t take steps to remove the links, then lock me out?  I’m not an affiliate of XXX and I only published the information for folks to train – nothing more…nothing less.

Microsoft Office Live Small Business also offers a free service, along with free support.  The difference?  If I open a support ticket with Microsoft, I’m assigned a support number.  I get a copy of my ticket – usually within four hours – along with a reply from tech support.  Normally tech support is handled offshore (India, I believe).

But that’s not all!  If I reply to the email with further questions, I get a response within a four hour window.  The support number is still attached.

WordPress [dot] com should look into the Microsoft support model…also look into an informative email first.  It will go a long ways to improving customer relations.

Should I charge for a white paper regarding writing tips?

Good thoughts (this week’s social media posed question). However, let me share a couple of thoughts regarding white papers.

  1. Many companies and individuals give a white paper free, in exchange for an email opt-in. The purpose is usually to position the company or individual as an SME. The opt-in gives freedom to sign up for an ezine or have a company’s marketing/sales staff work on lead nurturing.
  2. A second option is to give a while paper free. If it has good content, then it will spread via social media and viral marketing. I have read a few success stories along this line. This provides excellent free advertising – if done right.

I would call it an ebook. It’s like a copywriter selling a book on copywriting, available in a PDF download (for a set price).

VOIP Tests

Remember my last blog post?  I bought this Skype phone from Ipevo and it’s very good.  Nice sound quality.

I’m just like you.  At one time, I didn’t know anything about VOIP.  Nada!  Zip!  I’m seduced by those Vonage commercials – just like you.  So I brought into their fluffy sales pitch.

Then I started to experiment (all behind a solid router).

First it was with Google Voice + Gizmo5 + Grandstream Internet phone.  Now it’s with Skype and Ipevo Internet phone.  How should I test these?

My friend Roger – an electronic engineer – had an interesting suggesting.  Play a piece of music and listen to it via voip.  So I make a phone call…Vonage calls AT&T…Skype calls AT&T…Gizmo5/Google Voice calls AT&T.  Maybe I play Beethoven’s fifth.

Wallah!  Instant symphony.  Next I get out my label maker and mark 1, 2, and 3.  Who will stay and who will go on 9/11?  My money’s on Vonage, folks.  If you have stock in the company – by all means – stick with them.  I don’t!

Do the math!  Skype out is $30 a year for unlimited USA calls (actually, they cap it at 10,000 minutes.  Who talks that long in a month?).  Google Voice/Gizmo5 is free for unlimited US calls.  Both have low rates on International calls.

Did I mention all three have equal sound quality and reliability behind my heavy duty router?  Who should “get the ax” on 9/11 (My Vonage renewal date)?

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My Vonage 9/11 escape plan…AT&T calls…Some light bulb jokes?

Remember my BBB complaint against AT&T?

Well, guess what?  I got a call from an AT&T representative.  She mentioned I shouldn’t have been charged, since nobody ever came out to install anything.

That folks, was also a big mix-up.   I was supposed to have service on a Monday.  But I got a call on my AT&T land line the prior week.  It’s a person trying to contact a certain business – not mine.

I called the folks at AT&T and explained what happened.  They mentioned this business hadn’t used this number in years.  I added that no technician needed to come out…nor was any remote work needed…since I already had the number.

No problem.  Or so I thought.

I got a call the next Monday.  A technician was on his way and needed directions.  I explained that the number has been working for a week…there’s no need for any remote application…nor any technician to come out.

Did he get the message?  I guess not.  Fast forward: I asked the technician just to verify again, that my $90 fee has been waved.  Confirmed!  Great!~now just let me know how inter department communication got messed up.

Which departments did I talk with?  Just trace the toll free numbers on my AT&T line

New Vonage Alternative Experiment

Remember my grief with Vonage?  My problems were twofold:

  1. Their Vonage router is faulty – unless you configure it behind a heavy duty router.
  2. .They have questionable business practices, as the NPR radio article eluded to (from a previous blog post).

My Vonage anniversary is September 11.   I ordered an Ipevo Solo S0-10 Skype phone, as reviewed at http://is.gd/5hlk2.  The price and reviews are good at http://is.gd/5hlmt (Amazon).  Can this be my residential phone out and AT&T land line my residential phone in?  Remember that Google Voice + Gizmo5 + Grandstream phone is my official business line.

Why test Vonage alternatives?  It’s not because of technical issues – it’s business practices I have philosophical and theological objections to.  Besides!  If these alternatives work, they’re much cheaper than Vonage.

Know what else bothers me about them?  I asked them to discontinue my Vonage 911 service.  After all, I have 911 service with AT&T.  They couldn’t do it.  Even though a land line 911 service is more accurate and reliable than a VOIP alternative.

Come again?  From my perspective, I can shave off $5 per month from the Vonage bill.

Christian Light Bulb Jokes

Hey!  These come from a fundamentalist Christian friend.  They are in good taste – I think.

Charismatic: Only 1…“Hands are already in the air.”

Roman Catholic: “None – Candles only.”

Baptists : At least 15.
“One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.”

Episcopalians: 3
“One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.”

Mormons: 5…“One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.”

Unitarians:
“We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.”

Methodists: Undetermined
“Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.”

Nazarene: 6…“One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.”

Lutherans: None…“Lutherans don’t believe in change.”

Amish: “What’s a light bulb?”

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Acupuncture in the Knees…Monk Dies?…But Twitter Tips Served

How do you treat an elderly parent with health issues?  Would you try new and different approaches?  Perhaps it might be homeopathy and acupuncture.

Did you ever see show No Reservations on the Travel Channel? (see http://is.gd/58bYl).

Unless I’m mixing it up with another Travel Channel program – guess what?  This guy’s as much a material guy as Jed Clampett.   But he’s not afraid to explore new ideas…some not within his worldview.

For instance: Once he visits an island, where the natives are fire-walking.  They do some chants to focus they mind.  Next step…one, two, three…our material guy is walking on fire…hot coals several hundred degrees warm.  Then he scratches his head.  “Did I just do that?” he inquired.

Another trip took him to Africa.  He’s sitting in an all night native dance.  The local shaman is working with spirits.  Now I’m not going to comment on this.  No theological, philosophical, or scientific commentary.  Just the facts!  The shaman picks up some hot coals and swallows them.  “Did he just do that?” he inquired.  Then something surprising happens.  The shaman touches the host.  The host mentions his life is flashing different life scenes – like all the near death experiences.

Then guess what?

This dude goes back to drinking hard liquor with the locals and having a good time.  He probably forgets what he accomplished and experienced, unless he watches his TV shows.

I’m poisoned, Doctor

It actually happened – to one of my favorite TV characters.  Enter the final season of Monk, the detective with mental health issues.  It all centers on his wife’s death, in a car explosions.

But the villain who killed his wife poisoned Monk.  Nobody on the hospital staff can identify the poison…the assassin hired by the killer to poison Monk dies…killed in a train wreck…Monk has about 3 days to live.  What to do?

My Solution: bring in the brilliant medical detective House.  They both share some common dimensions.  Both are Sherlock Holmes prodigies.  Both have absolutely horrible personalities – not that Sherlock Holmes is any better (Say – a new movie version is coming out in December 2009).

How would House treat the situation?  All the hospital physicians can do is prescribe pain killers and wait for the inevitable.  After all, the hospital staff could take weeks to identify the poison.  I know.  He refer Monk to a good homeopath and a could practitioner of C.T.M. (That’s Chinese traditional medicine, folks…Acupuncture and Chinese herbs).

Perhaps he can forestall the inevitable and buy more time.  At least give House a chance to identify the poison and identify an antidote.

We’ll continue my mom’s story some other time. Let’s open some social media questions I received this week.

How Do I Increase Blog Traffic?

Many things. What are you using? Is it WordPress? Do you using one hosted by http://wordpress.com or http://wordpress.org (via your ISP). Something as simple as increasing your presence via a social media outlook, or using an SEO optimized platform (i.e. – like WordPress direct), helps immensely. What is your blogging platform?

Jessica shared some good thoughts. A good SEO plugin would be very useful. Put the SEO keywords in your title. Install some web Analytics packages and see where traffic is coming from. Google Analytics and Stat Counter are a couple good ones – free also. Something as simple as sharing constructive comments on other popular blogs in your niche helps (i.e. – you provide a blog link in the identification URL).

I don’ read Twitter guides – I like to get my feet wet

There’s got to be a balance between doing it yourself and studying from guides, books and courses. It reminds me of learning programing languages (which you elude to with the PHP web scripting language – works great with MySql and PostegeSql). I would love to experiment and learn by doing. But I also love to attend class at local US junior colleges, like the College of DuPage and Harper.

When I was in the Bahamas many years ago, I took a Scuba Diving expedition. The instructor gave us a 1 hour land course, followed by a live drive. I finished it – but was scared all the time. A nice – but slower – prep course at the local US YMCA would have been appreciated.

Yes – Twitter seems easy. Yet there are many tools out there that work with Twitter. It took me a while to work with the right combination of 3 – 4 tools. I would have loved if an expert gave me some book guidance.

Lastly, it’s a matter of learning styles. I personally believe in a balance of “doing it yourself” and “expert guidance from other sources.” I think local junior US colleges are missing the boat – they could make a fortune with credit and not credit courses around social media.

I realize you are more of a “let me get my hands wet” kind of guy. I appreciate that. I like to get my hands wet too. But I also like some guidance – that’s where the books come in (free from my local library).

FaceBook is bigger than Twitter

Is Twitter as big as FaceBook or Linkedin? I don’t know – unless someone shows me some independent statistics. I agree with you about social media consultants promoting their own success formula – for a price. It’s similar to folks selling Internet marketing success secrets – for a price. Yet you can go through a program like the XXX (Blocked out at request of WordPress) and learn some sound foundations for free. And yes – you get your feet wet by swimming.

There are some good Twitter tools out there and you can use the free versions. I do that for such tasks as sending automatic direct messages, targeting new traffic by select keywords, and unfollowing people no longer following me. It took me a while to figure out what’s good and bad – in tools. It really was a combination of “direct experimentation”, consulting with a couple of friends, and getting tips from ezines.

Twitter can feed other social media platforms. There are software applications to feed FaceBook, Linkedin, Friend Feed, etc., with Twitter Tweets. I like Twitter – in fact, I love it. But I realize it’s “not for everyone.”


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